We can live beside the ocean...swim out past the breakers

Now what about the sweet girls? The sweet girls that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and complaining about what bitches girls are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those girls who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those girls who listen while you ramble on about cars when they don’t understand a word your saying and sit patiently outside the video game/computer game store while you lose yourself for hours in a world of animated imagination.
This is in honor of the girls that obligingly reiterate how nice/handsome/smart/funny/sexy/gentleman-like their male friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know that real guys need that litany of support just as much as girls. This is in honor of the girls with open minds, even more open hearts, caring attitudes, and truly heart-felt concern. This is in honor of the girls who respect a guys’s every facet, from his privacy to his sports-ology to his hair and clothing style, even as far as his obsession with food, porn and beer. This is for the girls who escort their drunk, bewildered male friends back from parties and never give in to them drunkenly trying to take advantage of them so he doesn’t regret it in the morning, for the girls who accompany guys to bars as buffers against the rest of the ugly female population, playing the "girlfriend" when ever a "dog" asks for their number yet mysteriously disappears and is left behind once a "ten" is willing to hang out for the night; for the girls who know a guy is fishing for an ego boast but gives them one anyways, for the girls who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the girls who are accredited as the perfect wife material but then somehow don’t qualify to be girlfriends, for all the sweet girls who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the sweet girls who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for YOU.

This is for that time he left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, he spent three hours painstakingly asking you how to make up for the fact that he may have inadvertently flirted with the waitress in front of his girlfriend over dinner. And even though you thought his girlfriend was a slut and a mooch, you assured him that it was all going to be ok and he shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time he interrupted the best shopping spree to rant about a rumor that romantically linked him and the girl he thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the girl and knew she only did it cuz she liked him, you passed up the good sale items to other shoppers and helped him concoct a plan to get her out of his life.

This is also for that time he didn’t have a date and after racking his brain to find someone suitable (when you would have gladly gone in a heartbeat cuz you really do like him), he finally settles on taking you, his friend, to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and he flirted shamelessly with every girl he came in contact with, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to each girl: "oh, she’s not really my date, she’s my sister!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for his ego, even though deep down you would have liked to have been his actual date, you went anyways. Because you’re sweet like that.

The sweet girls don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the sweet girls only get noticed by the jerk-offs who are trying to get laid. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed, experienced and learned from talking to friends, the only conclusion I can form is that most guys are just illogical, self-centered, assholes. Many of them claim they just want to date a sweet girl they can take home to mom, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, she’s too sweet and innocent to date" or "she would be a good girlfriend but she’s not for me" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable females in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date female friends to sympathize and apologize for the girls that are just trampy-heartbreaking, bitches. Sorry, ladies, guys like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice girl!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this cheap easy slut now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the sweet-girl-finishes-last phenomenon can’t possibly last forever. There are obviously guys who have grown out of that train of thought and realized they should be dating the sweet girls, not taking them for granted.

You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience with car talk, and in the technology stores; your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a good wholesome manners. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless heroine, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


I love it.